Surviving Babies and Toddlers

Are you thinking about having a baby? Well, don’t read this book!

Kidding aside, read this book. In an age of conspiracy theories, social media deep fakes, political spin, and total uncertainty, Surviving Babies and Toddlers grounds readers in truthful Parenting Reality.

In this witty, down-to-earth memoir, author Joel Houston, with the full support of his beleaguered wife, Katie, helps wannabe parents wake up from romanticized dreams of parenting bliss. He leads us into the trenches of raising children, where we learn about the “horror movie” of birth; diaper-loving dogs; awful fashion pageants; knife-wielding toddlers; and how far a baby’s projectile vomit can travel. (Far.)

And yet . . . and yet, Houston never leads us to despair. Despite the daily struggle of raising babies and toddlers, the author helps us see that children and family are the most important things in life.

This book is for:

  • anyone who aspires to have children and wants to know about Reality

  • new parents searching for survival tactics (e.g. join a mothers-only Red Wine Therapy group)

  • empty-nester parents trying to understand why they no longer have strength or soul but still miss the kids

eNDORSEMENTS FROM fAMOUS pEOPLE

  • “I ONCE HAD TO CHANGE A DIAPER AND IT WAS DISGUSTING! AND WHEN MY BROTHERS WENT INTO POTTY TRAINING, IT WAS, LIKE, MADNESS!

    — Vienna, age eight, who helps her mother take care of triplets

  • “I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY GOOD. ALSO, MEOW!”

    — Colton, age seven

  • “CAN I HAVE SOME GOLDFISH NOW?”

    — Aedan, age ten

  • "I STILL CANT READ"

    — Brennan, age six

  • “AEDAN AND BRENNAN ARE CRAZY.”

    — Bella, age nine

  • "BUT I WANTED MY HOT CHOCOLATE TO BE COLD!”

    — Beck, age five, upon receiving his bribe for this endorsement

About the Author

Joel Houston and his wife, Katie, put everything on the line, took a leap, and started their own venture: Joel’s Warehouse. That company succeeded for four years, at which time they sold it. In 2020, Joel published his first book, Surviving Babies and Toddlers (Endeavor Literary Press). He has a bachelor’s degree in economics and an MBA from Pacific Lutheran University. Today, Joel, Katie, and their three children live in South Carolina.

Copyright © 2020 by Joel Houston

Cover design by James Clarke (United Kingdom)

Published by Endeavor Literary Press

Print: 978-1-7358671-0-6

Ebook: 978-1-7358671-1-3

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